She is already the Queen

Like the one who can wipe all the sadness in the world with one curve of her smile?

or should she be the one who can light the Universe with the sparkle in her eye. May be someone who can make an artist go mad to sketch her to the perfection. Someone who can fill Warmth in every home of the coldest winter night. A touch that can heal the most injured Soul. A voice that can bring dead to Life.

How about someone who can be described in infinite ways by finest poet or someone who is beyond the words that the best of the Poets cant put into. A girl whom a Sculptor feels Blessed to make Sculpture of?

What should she be like? Funny, sensitive, naughty, silent, reserved, Extrovert, Smiling, short tempered, tough, Social, strong willed, Beautiful by heart or Pretty by face? or simply all of them.

She feels like a dream come true in the dreams... A feeling that has no name or description but is always there like a heartbeat .... in Existence before we are born and in conscious till the last breathe and beyond.

She is like the breathe of fresh air... fills all of your lungs and keeps you alive and when you dont everything in life stops and you gasp to death. a pain in the throat that chokes you, unable to cry but good enough to fill your eyes and make everything else blur. She will be your past and your everlasting vision of future. She ll be someone you see even when u dont see your self.

She is someone u will want to hate to the core but end up Loving more than yourself... she ll redefine who you are to yourself. she ll make you meet the you , you never knew... She ll be there you want or not even after everything else turns out to be lie as the Ultimate Truth the Universe has ever witnessed.

She is the one you cant own but can Crown with your Life... She is the one you would die to Surrender if given a chance and when you Surrender that is the moment you feel like the King of the Universe.

Dont think everyone on earth wants to have her. I dont think so... i see them thinking she is too divine to be thought of having. I dont see many people reaching for her coz they feel blessed to experience her once in the Lifetime. 

She is not someone whom everyone want to own but she is someone whom everyone want to Witness... 

So now there is a choice to make .. Who are you? the one who Witness the Divine power or the King of the Universe coz Sweetheart she already is the Queen.

Abandoned Place

She is not there today. so are you.
things turned out to be different.
but if you ever happen to be in that place ever again in Life.
Think of her....i know you will. think of the girl who had nothing in her Life except you. a feeling beyond words and worlds...
Think of the craziest Depth of Love ever possible. Remember the time when She took the Blind fall to that depth.
Remember all of it and at last you will end up remembering how it feels to be in Love with one Big Heaven of Her.

Helpless Love

Guy: So what do you want? you have everything you need?

Girl: I dont want any of it. I want the Kind of Love you have for everyone... Just a little bit of it

Guy: [With filled tears]... Thinking to himself ....[Little Bit? Its meant for you. All of it... Every bit of it. I am just too helpless , unable to express to you that its overflowing to the people around me.] 

Happiness walks in it's own Crazy way

Every one of us has fancy ideas and definition about happiness and when we see someone else in a state of not so happy according to us we feel sorry for them, we feel pity and wish them the so called happiness

What is all the fuss about wishing loads of happiness... few might say- a promotion or wealth... few might say a wonderful circle of family and friends... am sure many might think in terms of food and great health too... lets take a cliché example of what could you wish for a child begging in the side of the road... what happiness could you possibly wish for? when i felt sorry for someone like that a wise man once said me that everybody gets to live their life and the share of happiness and pain along with it . There is absolutely nothing to feel sorry or wish about.

i dint quite get the point. i thought. what the hell.... for that begging child there are no facilities, sophistication even basic needs are attained with difficultly and struggle. I could wish for all of that so the child can be happy. Right? no.... that's the Beauty of Happiness. Its independent of anything and everything. some even say its matter of choice... I don't know if its the choice that makes you happy. I only know that any person  has everything it takes to be happy by birth, otherwise a new born could never smile if happiness was conditional. Next day when I saw the street girl who was a vulnerable unhappy kid a day back in my eyes, suddenly seemed most happy as she jumped on the puddle of muddy water and laughed her heart out with torn cloths, empty stomach and roofless head... There you go... its no rocket science... The girl is happy already without the basic needs fulfilled. Happiness even though feels complicated, it will find its way into you...Slowly,, Gently .. In all its crazy small medium extra large sizes... Don't wait coz its everywhere... just keep your doors open and its already in... Making you enjoy your hot coffee, take that deep breathe when u put on your favorite perfume, when u pass by that Beautiful/Handsome and your iris goes all wide..  its in it all... All we can do is have a mind open to feel happy and a large Heart to fill it all in.    

Ageing Memories

 She was busy packing to travel. It was a night journey and she was making sure she has everything she needs... Almost forgot why she was travelling once again. Age has taken a toll on her and forgetting every simple, even crucial things and struggling to remember them back was the new norm for her. A memory from four years back strikes suddenly and her hands stops doing whatever the brain had signaled moments back. As if all the brain cells are working towards that one memory that was so insignificant when it happened but all of a suddenly getting polished to be shiny and freshen to be treasured for the rest of the period. Even the aged brain cells are not tired to do this as its becoming effortless to remember every minute detail of it suddenly.

She was packing the same way 4 years back to travel to the same place and it was night journey again and had to make sure everything needed is packed. Before they leave for the big foreign vacation she had to travel to the other home which is a night journey away and set everything up and tuck the home in for there wont be anyone living or visiting there for next few months. It was time to leave and he once again gave the keys that she has been promptly forgetting all these years. He hands it to her and says  i have a plan, why don't I call you when you are about to leave the home there and tell you the list of things to be checked before you can lock and leave. She said... No way. I can handle it myself and its all simple household things and I can very well make sure everything is done right before I leave there... You don't need to call and check if I did it all right. You just take care of the pending work here so by the time I return we are all set to leave for the big vacation...

Her hands slowly starts moving as her brain cells are released one by one from recollecting the memory... She looks at the keys on the table lying there without his hands wrapped around it or giving to her... and the mobile next to it. She picks up the mobile and scrolls the call history to see his missed call 4 years back. The call he made inspite of her telling not to, The call she missed coz she was busy doing the final checks, The call that will never come again anymore. The missed call which she misses everyday every moment. The missed call, which if she had picked she would have had another argument and teasing conversation... They would all be todays treasured memories...

Amma misses you Pappa... more than she remembers, More than her ageing and forgetting brain cells can handle.

Gift to Remember

Her: Hey you.. Long time

Him: [10 years 5 months and 3 days and 12 hrs] ya really long time cant remember exactly.

Her: So on shopping is it? let me buy you something....

Him: Oh no,, why bother forget it.

Her: No no u have to accept it as my gift. please choose something from this shop. Is there Anythingggg you want....?

Him: [Looking her from top to bottom]

Her: come lets check another room section of shop

Him: Follows her silently as she walks in to the Mirror section lined with long antique designed mirrors. She walks to a mirror decorated with pearls and starts looking at the design in admiration. and He looks at her reflection in mirror with same admiration....
 He looks at the shop keeper and thinks...[Please gift wrap the reflection in the mirror] and says "Please pack that mirror for me."

Him: I know the answer though, Why dont you look in the mirror and say how is my choice

Her: Looks in the mirror and sees him and say... "Alluring In every possible way"

Her: Ok then, we should catch up sometime, Bye [Wow!10 years 5 months and 3 days and 12 hrs its been]

Mother & Child in Disguise

 There is no match to Mother and her Love but sometimes we are too blessed to get more of it...

My mother.... like every mother is very protective, i am always amazed by the way she has kept me like a pearl in the sea shell.

She never let anyone hold me when I was a baby, thinking they might accidentally hurt me. Be it crowded market , rushy road or stuffed bus she stood next to me like the strong metallic wall protecting me from every nuisance.

I have never felt safer than being with her.  Even today when i have crossed my 25 she looks after me the same way. And then i realized something one night.

I am now married and i mostly travel with my husband wherever it is. We were supposed to do a night journey with my mother. We had booked a sleeper bus for 3 of us.

Me and my mom slept in the 2 beds and my husband signaled me that he would be just in the next upper birth. I signaled him a good night and I will be fine through my eyes. Its been almost 10 years i know him and its like a different person i have been living with since 2 years of our wedding. Every time when its time we are about to depart to sleep separately its a weird feeling, as if something is not right. I dont know if he feels the same but i feel it every time and have never told him till today as it might sound  stupid. So i try to fill all these in that final glance of the night and he left to his bed.

I kept thinking about my mom now. We hardly got chance to sleep together after my wedding and she was excited as ever. As she gets travel sickness she tried to doze off soon.

I slept gradually and at one point i suddenly woke up. i could feel my stomach giving me a vomiting sensation and vomiting scares the hell out of me always and the very thought of vomit makes me shiver in fear. For some reason i have always been scared of vomiting. I kept saying myself no no no.... its gonna be fine... not today not now.. pls pls pls...

i turned to my mom  and saw her sleeping. Dint want to wake her up as i know this might create 2 people vomiting in the bus.

god.... i got to know its time and am about to puke. i opened the window but i dint vomit. My mom woke up and gave me water bottle.

I washed my face and slept again. the sensation was still there and without my knowledge i saw towards the screen next to the bed hoping to see my husband.

I kept seeing there for long thinking why was i seeing there.  My mom was right next to me and i was soo afraid. i could have held her hand tight and slept but i dont have that feeling to feel protective  inside her arms. I wanted to protect her, wanted to keep her inside my arms now, wanted to protect her from something that can cause problem to her even if its me.

The person who i am married to felt like mother to me. I wanted to feel safe in his arms like the way he has kept me all this while, only that i realized it that night. I dint want him to do anything for me. I was self-sustained to take care of myself but i dint want to do it . May be i am now addicted to being taken care by him .Things had changed so much, my mother felt like my child and my husband felt like my mother. It was magical to realize how blessed I was to have the master of Care and Love, I thought all of this to myself and closed my eyes smiling to him.